Being a Gay Dad

Posted bymichaelgcaseyPosted inUncategorized


Being a Gay Dad ©
By Michael Casey
Now before I start a message for Googlers, I am not Gay, though this will come top of all future Google searches.  What I am is defined by Who I am, not who is my preferred sleeping partner. Being Gay or Black or Disabled is unimportant, can I find the remote in time to watch Grimm or Sherlock or Elementary now THAT is important, as is do I buy a round of Stella Artois, or am I always in the toilets when it’s my turn to buy a pint.
We can discuss prejudice at a later date, being fat, silver haired having a quadruple bypass and arthritis to make me scream is irrelevant too. But at least I have a pretty family, and I am a good writer, though you may disagree and I may then try to play the fat silver haired quadruple bypass and screaming arthritis card.
So where was I, I was here looking at clothes for my daughters. I’m not stupid I’m not going to traipse round the shops I’d lose the will to live if I had to do that. I have written on this topic before, after 700+ stories most things are covered. Though you may all wish I was covered too, rather like a budgie’s cage, then I may shut up. Some of you are such cruel cruel bastards, I could sob now, and play the sob card, but some of you may think I’m a SOB anyway. See how you twist my words, you bunch of lawyers.
The thing about shopping online, or just window shopping online before despatching the kids out to the shops with money in their palms, is that it’s so much quicker. You can have a 40 min window in between your favourite tv shows, or in my case the Press Preview on Sky News, or the latest Andrew Graham-Dixon Art History show on BBC4.
So you gallop through the websites, as you stop you say yes or no and an item is picked. You pick shape and form, colour is so so important too. My smallest daughter just loves yellow, that’s why I bought a yellow flowering plant yesterday that’s on the shelf to my right by the phone. If the clothes item is yellow it’s got an 80% chance of being picked immediately. If it’s on sale and it looks really good we pick 2 of them. All the time I have an eye on the clock, I must not miss my show, missing BBC news is a capital offence.
My big daughter is harder to please, and I really have to reward her as she is doing so good at school, and she’s on track to be a Dr, God Help Us. So we scroll down looking at this and that, simultaneously we’ll say STOP, this item must be bought. If this happens frequently and if you push them towards something that they agree is really nice, and you the dad spotted it first, THEN YOU ARE A GAY DAD.
My girls are at school or out with their friends, or even with their Gay friend, when asked where did they get this or that the answer is FREQUENTLY, oh Dad spotted it. YOU HAVE A GAY DAD. So then you have to accept it. I am a Gay Dad. This means I am a Fashionista, but I do have a Shanghai wife, which means she dresses better than a Parisian or an Italian. I’ve gotten used to this these past 2 decades. As for me Cotton Traders is my shop of choice, but only because I have a great big derriere, but take a look for yourselves, not at my derriere but at Cotton Traders.
A Gay dad knows what colours are best for his girls and even for his  Shanghai wife. I can boast we’ve walked into a store, I take off my shades and walk around and walk out in less than 5 minutes. Why did I walk out, because the colours may be ok for a convention of undertakers, but for beautiful women, a bit of colour is always needed.
You have to know what colours work for your girls. Red is my wife’s prime colour, you can have a swatch done so you know your colour palette as far as your fashion goes. Me and my girls know what works best for mum so we advise her on what will won’t work. Mainly she knows her own style, but sometimes she does bring home a Cuckoo so we all say yuck and send her back to the shop for a refund. That’s where being a Gay Dad comes in useful, if I have to bear the cross of having a young wife, I do want her to stay looking good. While I dress in blue cord a la Cotton Traders.
Now that I’ve explained everything I hope all Gay Dads can come out of the ladies’  changing room with their head held high. It is a badge of honour to be called a Gay Dad, it means your daughters love you, especially if you pay. 

Published by michaelgcasey

I've updated this 18th March 2022 I'm Michael Casey from Birmingham England, the fat silver haired writer in shades. Beware of Others with the EXACT SAME NAME, they are not me, and would not want to be me ... use Google UK to find me, otherwise Posh Americans pop up I've done loads of writing, about 2,000,000 Words worth over 34years now But before I started to write, I LISTENED to BBC Radio 4 for 20 years, from the age of 10 or younger Frank Brown our lodger, went back to County Tyrone and he gifted us his Bush Radio. He'd be nearly 100 now if he is still alive, so say a prayer for him 54 years in love with words, and I still look so dashing. I have a picture in the attic, just like Dorian Gray I've also had an interest in Politics for 54 years with my dad heckling the tv and Politicians. I almost immediately had a hit, a play called Shoplife was accepted but not finally produced by a Theatre. The Kenneth More Theatre, so thank them for sparing you all. This was back in 1989 yes, 30 years plus ago, the play was written in 1988. So since then I'm more than good enough, as a writer. Anything else..... I also ignore those who just cannot write, pick your own candidate I tend to write Comedy as I'd rather make you laugh than cry I have written over 2000 short pieces of writing, yes 2000 " (c) by Michael Casey" If you include "chats" 3700 samples, all told, the chats do NOT go into my books when I compile them. My first book ,a full length comedy/drama is The Butcher The Baker and The Undertaker You can read translations of it here on this site Up to 20 different languages/translations have been read on the same day via this site, here on Wordpress look fo Translations Galore page, and more And in over 90 Countries world wide too so you have no excuse, find your own language and read The Butcher The Baker and The Undertaker or Quick Stories or any other of the books in Translation on my Wordpress This proves to me that the humour does travel I have readers in over 100 countries now, just to repeat myself From Nepal to American Samoa and all places North South East and West Or its just a hit man on the run, or whatever Unknown Region Means It may also mean that only non English Speakers like my stuff Coverage but lacking penetration as marketing folks might say I did get 21,000 readers in 3 weeks for the Polish version of In Search of an Indian Princess. which is basically the final 3 chapters of The Butcher The Baker and The Undertaker all by word of mouth. And 50,000 plus in Christmas week 2021 If you add up all the downloads from my Wordpress + 13,000 when somebody stole the file. I have had more copies than Boris Johnson's Churchill book distributed. Maybe 40,000 copies . Not made a penny from it, free downloads in multiple languages. Reverse Logic, if the world knows me, eventually somebody will pay me But in reality I'll be dead first, and then just 2 pennies to pay the ferryman is enough I've cut the Plaudits, you can read/decide for yourself As for my life, I was born in the shadow of a Brewery, I was a computer operator for a market research company into alcohol sales, 21 years altogether, StatsMR Call centre guy, like everybody once in their life I was also a Trainee Betting Shop Manager I was a concierge and 10 other roles at Crowne Plaza NEC Birmingham for 3 years. Spent 3 years at Pinsent Masons Law firm in Birmingham I even hid a copy of my comic novel "BBU" in the Law Library at Pinsent Masons, well just for a day.. I did a few other jobs too, working life in reverse so to speak and I was an Esol English teacher in an Islamic school, for a year, I knew I could teach. I got Excellent, Excellent and Exemplary on the external assessment, yes really And I asked them to pray for me at least once a day beside which I've had a Shanghai connection for 20 years now, including 2 bilingual daughters and being a hausfrau a long time too, I'm a great dad, as I've had lots of time with my daughters I can always make somebody talk or laugh I believe my short stories could be used to teach English, just package them up correctly or App them Or a Tale a Day from Michael, a story telling App What else, I was brawn and brains, I used to be as strong as an Ox, now I just smell like one We have a cat called Totoro, my daughters wanted a pet I said they could have a dog if I died , or a cat if I had a heart attack. A few weeks after that in Jan 2015 I had an Unplanned Quadruple Heart Bypass , it was supposed to be a triple but it ended up a Quadruple, 33% extra free so to speak. Now with an add on Hernia, the size of your fist, pushing through my bypass scar, it hurts when I laugh, so don't make me laugh I also have arthritis and other hindrances that hobble my body and give me pain galore. But my mind is free, though having read my stories you may wish I didn't bother But I'll ignore you, and carry on regardless. I do get heckled by my own Tinnitus these past 3 years+, so I have music on all night long to drown it out. I sleep with Miley, Taylor, Eric Clapton and Will Young, maybe I should buy a bigger bed, or just get a better mattress. Tinnitus is a curse, just trust me I know, each day I wake up, Tinnitus SCREAMS at me for a full hour till it calms down That's the end of the tidy version of my life To finish here's the list of my 20 books, so far:- 1.The Butcher The Baker and The Undertaker 2.Shoplife 3.Essays and Plays 4.Blogs 2011 5.300 and Not OUT 6.Shorts 2013 7.More Shorts 2014 8.Quick Stories 9.Still Alive 2015 10.Undiscovered Words 2016 11.Still Smiling 2017 12.Altogether Now 13.New Horizons 14.14 Up 15.15 Down 16.Sweet Sixteen 17. 17 Again 18. 18 New Views 19. The Final Cut of the 19th Hole 20. 2020 Words 21. 21 Door Keys, key to the door 21 on Bingo, hence title, 53,000 words so far I write bullet point stuff mainly now as Tinnitus stops me from getting in the zone to write, story stories. (c) by Michael Casey stuff though my bullet points are better than some "writers" discuss, miaow. That's why I dream of a speed typist, so I could dictate from the sofa https://www.amazon.co.uk/Michael-Casey/e/B00571G0YC to buy ebooks Loads of Korean and Arabic translations downloaded from my Wordpress, 1000s of them Quick Stories in Korean is a big hit. Maybe Kim in North Korea should read my books, instead of wasting his countries resources on what? Just keeping one person in power, him? Instead of joining the real world and opening a string on golf courses. That way we could get rid of Trump too. Into the sunset, as they play golf. Tears for a Butcher will be the sequel to BBU, and it too will be 600pages, however I really need a speed typist to put it down, while I sit and dictate like Barbara Cartland, and hopefully my speed typist would be impressed. we'd marry have half Korean kids, and form a Kpop band with our 4 new kids, with me as manager. And yes this is more for my bucket list, as Tinnitus keeps me awake too much, 6 months of not sleeping till dawn is really killing me Michael Casey aka the fat silver haired writer in shades from Birmingham England https://2.gravatar.com/avatar/efda2dca0de5b9269191b7c8b0102473?s=400&d=mm