Feeling Relaxed

Monday, 19 November 2018

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Michael-Casey/e/B00571G0YC/ref=ntt_dp_epwbk_0

Feeling Relaxed

https://profile.typepad.com/michaelgcasey   is where you  can go to hear 200+ stories of mine read by me, yes in my own posh Birmingham accent.

Feeling Relaxed (c)
By
Michael Casey

I’m feeling quite relaxed right now, I’ve staggered back up the hill with Milk and Fresh Orange Juice, and I did not sound like an abusive phone call when  I got home. Not too much heavy breathing, the trick is to rest 3 times while going up the hill. It will either kill me or make me fitter. Though I bumped into the Lizzie one of the local child minders, she looked after ours once or twice in the past.  She had a push chair with her and a toddler. So she is far fitter than me pushing kids up and down hills. She also has a degree in Marine Biology if I remember rightly. See our child minders are super educated.

Now today I’ve not needed a nap, so my body has recovered. Though I still wake up like a vampire every 2 hours in the night. Needing not fresh blood but the bathroom. I’ve had a nice day, I wrote Friend CV earlier in the day, though as ever I started with one idea in my head but ended putting a different one on the page. I had thought of writing something in the style of Linkedin Profile which I wrote years ago, you can find it amongst the 2100 other pieces of writing on my site.

In the end the direct comedy came to the fore. Remember too that everything I write is for the ears, you are supposed to be hearing this not reading this. So get your boyfriend to read it to you, and then you will allow him to do the washing up. Boys just love playing sinking submarines in  the kitchen sink with the cups and saucers. Or bribe him with your last Rolo, and I don’t mean the slobbering chocolate coloured ladrador that I meet in the woods the other day. Though he may just slobber in some other way, if you persuade him to read my stories aloud.

I’m listening to Miley Cyrus right now, she has a really great voice, and Taylor Swift was here earlier putting the cups and saucers in our kitchen sink.  Justin was Timberlaking in the kitchen sink too, he should have been in the Navy he loves playing submarines in my kitchen sink so much. Though he always leaves a trail of breadcrumbs all over our kitchen floor. Speaking of floor I asked could he give it a quick mop, and he started dancing, with his one foot on the floor dragging a kitchen cloth everywhere. Only it was not kitchen cloth, it was Totoro our cat,  it really was such a shiny floor when Timberlake had finished. That was when Totoro broke free and scratched his legs. He’ll tell everybody its a new tattoo until the scars heal. He did learn how to reach  those very high notes too, grace a Totoro our Ninja Cat.

So I see its nearly 10pm  now so I must watch some more tv news, how many more people has Trump insulted today? Do you think Jimmy Hoffa’s body is buried in the foundations of Trump Tower, or would that win him more support from his  Religious Right Base. As somebody that loves History, I cannot understand how people have been suckered by the Trump magic trick.

Let’s hope it doesn’t end with a star erupting. I did write a piece about aliens intervening in Human Life, I’ll try and dig it out, but it must be somewhere on this site. Butcher Baker Undertaker site

So with Miley Cyrus finishing off her song, I’ll listen to the sound of my Tinnitus, a new disease I’ve acquired only this year. Then I may watch Mrs May before I hit the sack.
I hope you are just as  relaxed, and if you are not you can play submarines in the kitchen sink, until your lover screams stop that racket and come to bed.

BBUMar2008.en.zh-CN (1)BBU in HebrewBBU in Arabic300 وmy new bedBBU Russian Translation microsoft wordBBU in KOREANBBU GermanBBU French50 Spanish ExamplesKOREAN TRANSLATION Still Alive 2015The Polish TranslationsSpanish BBU아직도 살아있는 2015아직도 살아있는 2015아직도 살아있는 2015Altogether Now2016

Published by michaelgcasey

I've updated this 18th March 2022 I'm Michael Casey from Birmingham England, the fat silver haired writer in shades. Beware of Others with the EXACT SAME NAME, they are not me, and would not want to be me ... use Google UK to find me, otherwise Posh Americans pop up I've done loads of writing, about 2,000,000 Words worth over 34years now But before I started to write, I LISTENED to BBC Radio 4 for 20 years, from the age of 10 or younger Frank Brown our lodger, went back to County Tyrone and he gifted us his Bush Radio. He'd be nearly 100 now if he is still alive, so say a prayer for him 54 years in love with words, and I still look so dashing. I have a picture in the attic, just like Dorian Gray I've also had an interest in Politics for 54 years with my dad heckling the tv and Politicians. I almost immediately had a hit, a play called Shoplife was accepted but not finally produced by a Theatre. The Kenneth More Theatre, so thank them for sparing you all. This was back in 1989 yes, 30 years plus ago, the play was written in 1988. So since then I'm more than good enough, as a writer. Anything else..... I also ignore those who just cannot write, pick your own candidate I tend to write Comedy as I'd rather make you laugh than cry I have written over 2000 short pieces of writing, yes 2000 " (c) by Michael Casey" If you include "chats" 3700 samples, all told, the chats do NOT go into my books when I compile them. My first book ,a full length comedy/drama is The Butcher The Baker and The Undertaker You can read translations of it here on this site Up to 20 different languages/translations have been read on the same day via this site, here on Wordpress look fo Translations Galore page, and more And in over 90 Countries world wide too so you have no excuse, find your own language and read The Butcher The Baker and The Undertaker or Quick Stories or any other of the books in Translation on my Wordpress This proves to me that the humour does travel I have readers in over 100 countries now, just to repeat myself From Nepal to American Samoa and all places North South East and West Or its just a hit man on the run, or whatever Unknown Region Means It may also mean that only non English Speakers like my stuff Coverage but lacking penetration as marketing folks might say I did get 21,000 readers in 3 weeks for the Polish version of In Search of an Indian Princess. which is basically the final 3 chapters of The Butcher The Baker and The Undertaker all by word of mouth. And 50,000 plus in Christmas week 2021 If you add up all the downloads from my Wordpress + 13,000 when somebody stole the file. I have had more copies than Boris Johnson's Churchill book distributed. Maybe 40,000 copies . Not made a penny from it, free downloads in multiple languages. Reverse Logic, if the world knows me, eventually somebody will pay me But in reality I'll be dead first, and then just 2 pennies to pay the ferryman is enough I've cut the Plaudits, you can read/decide for yourself As for my life, I was born in the shadow of a Brewery, I was a computer operator for a market research company into alcohol sales, 21 years altogether, StatsMR Call centre guy, like everybody once in their life I was also a Trainee Betting Shop Manager I was a concierge and 10 other roles at Crowne Plaza NEC Birmingham for 3 years. Spent 3 years at Pinsent Masons Law firm in Birmingham I even hid a copy of my comic novel "BBU" in the Law Library at Pinsent Masons, well just for a day.. I did a few other jobs too, working life in reverse so to speak and I was an Esol English teacher in an Islamic school, for a year, I knew I could teach. I got Excellent, Excellent and Exemplary on the external assessment, yes really And I asked them to pray for me at least once a day beside which I've had a Shanghai connection for 20 years now, including 2 bilingual daughters and being a hausfrau a long time too, I'm a great dad, as I've had lots of time with my daughters I can always make somebody talk or laugh I believe my short stories could be used to teach English, just package them up correctly or App them Or a Tale a Day from Michael, a story telling App What else, I was brawn and brains, I used to be as strong as an Ox, now I just smell like one We have a cat called Totoro, my daughters wanted a pet I said they could have a dog if I died , or a cat if I had a heart attack. A few weeks after that in Jan 2015 I had an Unplanned Quadruple Heart Bypass , it was supposed to be a triple but it ended up a Quadruple, 33% extra free so to speak. Now with an add on Hernia, the size of your fist, pushing through my bypass scar, it hurts when I laugh, so don't make me laugh I also have arthritis and other hindrances that hobble my body and give me pain galore. But my mind is free, though having read my stories you may wish I didn't bother But I'll ignore you, and carry on regardless. I do get heckled by my own Tinnitus these past 3 years+, so I have music on all night long to drown it out. I sleep with Miley, Taylor, Eric Clapton and Will Young, maybe I should buy a bigger bed, or just get a better mattress. Tinnitus is a curse, just trust me I know, each day I wake up, Tinnitus SCREAMS at me for a full hour till it calms down That's the end of the tidy version of my life To finish here's the list of my 20 books, so far:- 1.The Butcher The Baker and The Undertaker 2.Shoplife 3.Essays and Plays 4.Blogs 2011 5.300 and Not OUT 6.Shorts 2013 7.More Shorts 2014 8.Quick Stories 9.Still Alive 2015 10.Undiscovered Words 2016 11.Still Smiling 2017 12.Altogether Now 13.New Horizons 14.14 Up 15.15 Down 16.Sweet Sixteen 17. 17 Again 18. 18 New Views 19. The Final Cut of the 19th Hole 20. 2020 Words 21. 21 Door Keys, key to the door 21 on Bingo, hence title, 53,000 words so far I write bullet point stuff mainly now as Tinnitus stops me from getting in the zone to write, story stories. (c) by Michael Casey stuff though my bullet points are better than some "writers" discuss, miaow. That's why I dream of a speed typist, so I could dictate from the sofa https://www.amazon.co.uk/Michael-Casey/e/B00571G0YC to buy ebooks Loads of Korean and Arabic translations downloaded from my Wordpress, 1000s of them Quick Stories in Korean is a big hit. Maybe Kim in North Korea should read my books, instead of wasting his countries resources on what? Just keeping one person in power, him? Instead of joining the real world and opening a string on golf courses. That way we could get rid of Trump too. Into the sunset, as they play golf. Tears for a Butcher will be the sequel to BBU, and it too will be 600pages, however I really need a speed typist to put it down, while I sit and dictate like Barbara Cartland, and hopefully my speed typist would be impressed. we'd marry have half Korean kids, and form a Kpop band with our 4 new kids, with me as manager. And yes this is more for my bucket list, as Tinnitus keeps me awake too much, 6 months of not sleeping till dawn is really killing me Michael Casey aka the fat silver haired writer in shades from Birmingham England https://2.gravatar.com/avatar/efda2dca0de5b9269191b7c8b0102473?s=400&d=mm

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