Thanksgiving USA 2019

Thanksgiving USA 2019 ©

By

Michael Casey

 

Now where do I begin, I’m not American, so dare I speak to you in USA and all over the world about Thanksgiving? Well your Holidays tend to drift over here, we have Halloween and Thanksgiving has led to Black Friday over here too. So I’ve picked that to bore you with, and let’s see just how far I can get, before you all get off the couch and head for the shops. Or for your online shops.

 

What do you give thanks for? Thank you for the Music Abba used to sing, so we all thank our favourite stars for their gift of song that means so much to us all. I’d like to thank Taylor Swift for not hurrying and spending the night with me, not forgetting Mylie Cyrus and Gerry Rafferty as well as Britain’s Will Young. They are the foursome that comes to bed with me most nights, maybe I should buy a bigger bed at Costco’s Black Friday sale. Their voices I mean,what kind of man do you think I am? And as I’ve mentioned one male dead artist, 2 female artists, one of whom is Bisexual and a gay man, my selection of these 4 could cover a whole host of things. But as you know I am referring to going to bed with their voices, their voices alone, though, well there is no though, just my TINNITUS. So song keeps the hiss at bay as I try to get to sleep, with 4 voices, voices, not vices, to keep me company.

 

I give thanks that you now realise what I’m talking about,Tinnitus. And no Tinnitus was not some Roman slave, thankfully no American studied Rome as far as I know. So what else do we give thanks for? We thank God,we found that website that would write essays for us, so we can continue with our Sporting Scholarship. Then we go and see the latest Jumanjii at the Cinema, and who do we bump into at the popcorn stand? Miss FatKnickers, though you never say that to her face, and for the first time ever you meet her beau. Your jaw drops, he could be a film star, he has all the looks.

 

What does he see in her you ask your friends, and she overhears but pretends not to. So you go and enjoy the film. Miss Fatknickers meanwhile is in a clinch with her beau, and no that’s not what he saw in her, she has personality and a kind face. Despite having fatknickers that a F16 Tomcat could land on, her beau loves her, for being herself. Something all of us should remember, give thanks for just being yourself. Besides she helped him overcome his stutter and he is now a Radio Announcer on WKBAZAZAOP, so she has given him something money cannot buy. And together they are so in love.

 

The film ends and you see Miss Fatknickers leaving the multiplex, her beau lovingly removing the stray popcorn from her face, and making her blush as he brushes it from her well filled jumper, they are so much in love. You and you friends snigger at them. You go home and you tell everybody that you saw Miss Fatknickers having her breasts stroked in public, before your elucidate. Your family laughs.

 

But he who laughs last laughs longest, Miss Fatknickers sends you an email, but the voice is of her beau in his best announcer’s voice. We looked at your essay and we spotted that it came from Lazy Essays R Us, Cheat Your Way to the Top website. So can you write the essay again, over the Thanksgiving Holiday. You curse your luck. Her beau has a PhD in English, he’s not just a pretty face. As for Miss Fatknickers she is naked on the bed, waiting for the whipped cream, it’s so much nicer than popcorn, as the Radio Announcer on WKBAZAZAOP tells her….

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